The Greatest Challenge in my Career

In a recent function I attended at YMCA, talking to school children on positive thinking, a smart kid asked me-

"Aunty, what is the greatest challenge in your career?"

"Gender discrimination." I answered without thinking. He looked confused, so while thinking of how to make myself clearer, I realized with shock that it WAS indeed the honest answer. 

In the first ten years of my career as a woman IPS officer, I had to wage a literal war with the myriad tones and tenors of this menace in open as well as subtle ways. This still continues, Kerala being the State it is and male psyche being what it is. But after years of dealing with it, now I know how to tackle it effectively at all levels. 

I was thrilled that I got my home cadre. Ice was thrown on this thrill when an officer told me on the first day of my joining the service in the State- "Sreelekha, you know? Last week at the senior officer's conference in Police Head Quarters, the Director General of Police announced that a woman IPS is coming to pollute our department which gave some amusement to the senior officers. We all laughed." 

My God! Even if he was speaking the truth, why did he have to tell me this? It was the first in its long series.

Fortunately I didn't have to work very long under this DGP, who, by the way, was always a true gentleman in his behavior to me. 

My family, friends, teachers and the society including the media welcomed me as the first woman Indian Police Service officer in the State. But I was totally unwelcome to the Department. The senior officers sympathetically wanted to give me soft jobs considering my gender. When I demanded same treatment as my male colleagues, it wasgiven with a lot of hesitation and comments such as- "you need not do it, you know? We understand your limitations," which irritated me to no end.

When I was Assistant Superintendent of Police, there was a junior officer who never appeared in front of me. Whenever I called him, he would be either on leave on on court duty. I have heard his voice on phone, but months went by without my seeing him. I went by surprise to his office once, but he was not there. Suddenly he applied for a transfer and went on long leave. I was naturally puzzled. So I asked others if there was anything wrong with him. A Deputy Supdt of Police told me after much persuasion- "There is nothing wrong with him, but I believe he told other officers that he can salute any idiot of a male, but never a woman. Probably he wanted a transfer because of his reluctance to salute you, madam."

Really??? What a chauvinist! 

Years later, fate had it for him to work with me. That time he came in front of me in uniform and saluted. I played with him for the fun of it. "Is this how you salute a senior officer? Such a shame! Do it properly again." I demanded. He saluted again. "No, no. Your hand was hiding your eyes. Again. This time make it smarter." I ordered. He saluted again. "What a shame! I think you need further training in this. Stand in attention and salute." I barked. The poor thing saluted again, trembling. I disliked myself for doing it, but I made him salute again saying. "You can not even salute your seniors properly. Count to three once you put your hand up and then bring it down fast. Do it again." Six salutes for the one he refused to give long back! Fair enough, I thought.

After 10 months of doing a sub division, the DGP who did not like my face for reasons known only to him transferred me to the District Crime Records Bureau. I was ASP of DCRB for the first time in the history of Kerala Police since no IPS officers are generally posted outside of a sub division. The crime I committed which caused this transfer? I got married!

I asked the DGP why I got transferred to such a horrible post where usually officers who are corrupt and unwanted in the department or officers on reinstatement from suspension are usually posted. He replied to my utter horror- "You should thank me for this transfer. Now you can get pregnant and have children without any tension of doing a sub division."

I told him at once, "You are not the person to decide when I should have children. My husband and I are quite competent to take decisions on subjects like this," which won me my second adverse comments in the Annual Confidential Report. The first was from my trainer SP who made me attend over 80 public functions during my training as ASP saying that a police officer should have maximum public contact and then wrote in the ACR that I was crazy for publicity!

Male police officers just can not tolerate any good deeds done by a lady officer which would lead to media highlights. They would immediately devise ways to damage the reputation of that lady officer with false stories and rumors. I had to face several such wrong allegations purely based on male fantasy and ego of which I had written earlier. 

In case disciplinary action is taken against a male subordinate officer, he would go to any extremes to see that the reputation of his lady boss is tarnished.

Posters calling me horrid names appeared in and around my residence after I sent four of my subordinates for intensive training at the battalions for violation of rules. During night, all the doors and windows of the rented accommodation I was staying were repeatedly scratched with knives by some people refusing me sleep. 

When eleven of my junior officers were suspended from service in another instance when I was SP of a District, life was made hell for me by not only these officers, but by my DGP too. There were attempts to kidnap my 5 year old son from school, attempt to cause bodily injury to my husband who was traveling daily in a bus to the hospital which was 70 km away and attempts were made to sneak gold bars into my quarters to get the house raided by Enforcement Wing. In addition to these, false adverse reports against me were appearing in the media on a daily basis. For several months no substitutes were posted in lieu of those officers under suspension and when I asked the DGP to post officers, he rudely remarked- "You were the reason for such a mass suspension, I do not intend to post any substitutes. You may do all their work too." 

I still do not know what made him say this, but till the day I was transferred from the District, the DGP saw to it that no substitutes were posted! It is punishment to me that I detected corruption of officers who got suspended from service. Years later, all these officers were reinstated and cases against them disposed off giving them full pay and allowances for the period they were under suspension. The corrupt got their paid holidays and all benefits, the officer who detected corruption got punished with extra hard work and harassment galore!

An IGP conveyed to me once through his confidential assistant that I should wear sari to office. I was posted in an administrative post in the Head Quarters and liked wearing salwar kameez or churidar being very convenient . I continued to wear salwar since there was no official Government orders regarding dress code in office. This displeased him, so the next time I went to his room for an official discussion, he asked eyeing my dress, "Why are you not obeying my orders?"

"What orders, sir?" I asked innocently.

"You should wear sari in office."

"There are no Government directions to support your order. I will wear what I feel comfortable in." I replied.

He stood up suddenly and said, "It is not because of any Government orders. It is because you look good in sari."

My God!  I asked him how he dared to speak like this which made his face red. All the hairs in his ear stood upright and he trembled with anger. "This is my order. Just obey me. You are supposed to." He shouted.

"I am not supposed to. You try making me obey to your stupid orders and I report against you." I shouted back, winning my third adverse ACR remark from him.

I worked in the Central Bureau of Investigation for four years. I enjoyed the three years I worked as SP in Kerala, but on my promotion as DIG, I got transferred to Delhi although I was promised a posting in Bangalore where there was a vacancy. When I joined Delhi, I reminded the Director, CBI of the earlier promise. "Work here for 3 months after which I'll send you to Bangalore." He said.

Three months passed, fifth and sixth month passed. I was given a post and room next to the Director and he made it a habit to summon me very occasionally to his room for silly reasons even late in the evening. He seemed to have forgotten his promise. My batch-mate joined CBI around that time, hoping to get a posting in Delhi. To both our surprises, he got posted in the vacant post in Bangalore. I went to the Director and asked him why he did not post me in Bangalore.

"I want you here." Simple.

"I don't want here." I replied. This irritated him. Director, CBI is very powerful and no one talks back at him. He raised his brows.

"Then go back to your cadre." He ordered.

The next day I wrote a letter requesting for repatriation from CBI to my home cadre. He refused to send it to Government for two months! He refused to give me even a day's casual leave and started harassment, shouting at me during conferences, saying that my work was horrible to other officers, blaming me for mistakes of others and alienating me from his office. 

It was after I met the Minister and the Secretary of Department of Personnel and Training that I got orders allowing my repatriation. After nine months of torture in Delhi. And the Director wrote in my ACR- "Work is good, but she cares more for her family than her job." This was not considered adverse so was never communicated to me. I came to know of this remark much later when my empanelment as IGP in the Center got delayed. The Director blamed my family too for his dislike of me!

Gender discrimination continues even today. But now I have become an expert to handle this and it does not affect me as much as it used to. 

It is not my fault that I am born a woman. But I take responsibility for this career, my achievements, respect and the appreciation from those I serve. I love this profession and have no regrets despite the small hurdles on the way to progress. I am happy that I cleared the path for my successors in this career. And I am proud that the hurdles others put on my path have made me stronger. 

Challenges in life and career are inevitable. It is how you face them that matters.